I went to a wake the other night
'Cause a good Ceilidh band were playin'
They had propped the dear departed up
And to the beat I saw him swayin'
His fiddle was tucked beneath his arm
And a smile was etched upon his face
As the clock crept round to midnight
The band were pickin' up the pace
Mourners were whirling around the room
And still was flowin' like a river
The family catered for the crowd
And no one cared about their liver
More came to pay their last respects
When the pubs closed up at three
They brought carry-outs and barflies
Who never miss a gig that's free
As the night wore on into the dawn
The Ceilidh band began to flag
Their little lilting tunes slowed down
And the dancers feet began to drag
The corpse was stiffer than a board
And his face was paler than the moon
His smile was now a pained expression
The wake would need to end quite soon
The night took on a gruesome twist
The corpse had gripped his fiddle tight
And wouldn't fit into the coffin
Feck sake it was an awful fight
In the end they prised it off him
And he was laid to rest at last
In a place that brought back memories
Of his long and illustrious past
When I die I want to have a wake
With a jazz band and a comic turn
But I want to be cremated first
So I will be safe inside my Urn.
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